TIMELESS, not beastly

Timelessly beautiful and absolutely not a beast, wouldn't you agree?

... I mean, no comment, really. Hardly any comment necessary at all. Joan Collins' very own cosmetics range? Irresistible. She's so versatile, right? One moment she sells you a chocolate bar, immediately afterwards it's her own beauty collection... 

So convincing! I'm only wondering - what happens to her mouth when she has to say the word "skincare" for the first time after approximately five seconds? I wouldn't exactly interpret that expression as joy and glee. But then again, who cares...?

So, are we surprised that she has "always done my own makeup for films and photo shoots" (see the little video I posted above)? Well, I am not, quite frankly. Do we believe her? We do believe her every single word. After all she pretty well is Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan, isn't she? 

via Dynasty Wiki

Bathing in champagne and scrubbing her luxurious body with pearls of caviar, always plotting against someone totally innocent. That's how we were brought up to imagine her (us, fashion editors growing up in the 80s that is). Alexis, not Joan of course, but is there really any significant difference? 

 

Lovely, lovely, lovely. And just look at that marvellous nail polish, sorry, "lacquer", in the tiny little bottle that looks like a very corporate very high skyscraper in Denver. Isn't it adorable? Never mind the quality of the product contained therein, I'd almost be tempted to say. Were I not grasping for breath after hearing Mrs Collins state, in the video promoting her "Timeless Beauty" line on sale via QVC: "I believe that looking good and feeling great is the right of every woman. Because beauty is timeless." And so it is and shall forever be ...

SHOULDER PADS and fur capes

 never without caviar, of course - Alexis Carrington Colby

 ... without wanting to sound too dramatic: if you're reading ParisVienne this very second (or indeed, if you're familiar with the German tongue, have ever happened to read any of my "real life" fashion articles), this may well be due to the extraordinary work that Mr Nolan Miller did, in terms of costume design, for the infamous tv series "Dynasty". Too young for partaking in the "dinner and Dynasty" culture of the 80s, I still very much loved the overly dramatic style of Dynasty and was even allowed to stay up late when it was on TV. What a queeny way to spend one's childhood, you'll say. Well ... I happened to watch some videos on Youtube (for example, the rather un*be*lievable catfight opposing Krystle and her doppelganger, Rita) and googled around a little when I happened to find out (NY mag run a comprehensive article) that Nolan Miller (* 1935) passed away some days ago. What a loss! And, just for the record, thank you so very, very much, Mr Miller, for giving me an early idea of what I was to do for a living later on ...

the psychology of fashion - 

pink for the good, orange for the evil.

The two of them together look like ... ice cream ?! 

... quelle perte absolument regrettable : Nolan Miller, responsable de tous les costumes si extraordinaires portés par Krystle, Alexis et leurs ennemies dans l'archi-fameuse, fabuleuse, incontournable série télévisée "Dynastie", exerçant grâce à cette fonction une influence considérable sur le phénomène du POWER DRESSING des années 80, est mort il y a quelques jours. Je viens de tomber sur un article publié dans New York Magazine, purement par hasard, après avoir regardé quelques vidéos sur Youtube. Puis-je vous faire une petite confession ? Je pense vraiment que, si cela n'eût été pour le travail de Monsieur Miller, vous ne liriez pas ParisVienne en ce moment, et vous ne liriez pas non plus les articles que j'écris dans "la vraie vie", en allemand. Quand bien même je aurais été trop jeune pour avoir pleinement participé au phénomène original du "dinner and Dynasty", j'avais permission de rester éveillé jusqu'à tard les soirs où Dynastie passait à la télé. Et il va sans dire que le travail de Nolan Miller a été décisif pour l'esthétique de la mode de la décennie du boom économique aux USA. Chapeau, Monsieur Miller, et merci, mille mercis ...  

 

enter Dominique Deveraux, Blake Carrington's half sister, in a

rather becoming asymmetrical fur-embellished cape -

and look at those marvellous little, uhm, thingies Alexis has on her back

... è davvero tristissimo: Nolan Miller, il fantasticamente ingegnoso creatore dei costumi per la serie tv "Dynasty" (con la quale sono cresciuto e, pur essendo troppo giovane per fare come i gay americani degli anni ottanta e indulgere al fenomeno "dinner and Dynasty", molto popolare in quell'epoca) è scomparso qualche giorno fa. L'hanno sopranominato "il signore delle spalline"; con il look inconfondibile che trovò per Krystle, Alexis e le sue amiche (o anche, più spesso, nemiche...), ha lasciato la sua traccia nel "Power Dressing" degli anni ottanta. E posso dirvi qualcosa? Non fosse per lui, penso che non leggereste ParisVienne in questo momento, né nessuno degli articoli in lingua tedesca che scrivo per il giornale nella vita reale - perchè fu con le molto drammatiche protagoniste di Dynasty che appresi il gusto per la moda. Dunque, grazie infinite, signor Miller ...

A PICTURE of the mules

... there's that lovely shoe shop two blocks away from my apartment and I really like to stop and marvel at this never changing arrangement of mules (made from terry cloth, would you believe it?). I just love thome, even though I'm perfectly aware of the fact that owning A PAIR of these or also taking out one single colour from this, should I call it an installation?, would be most frightful. And, sure enough, these lovely little mules also make me think of Jennifer Saunders and Dawn French in one of their breakfast television parodies featuring the JOAN COLLINS expert ...

French & Saunders, the infamous "Joan Collins expert"

... des pantoufles en tissu éponge, voici le comble de tous mes rêves et désirs ; au moins à chaque fois que je passe devant la vitrine de cette boutique pas trop loin de là où j'habite. Je la trouve formidable, cet arrangement de pantoufles multicolores faites de ce tissu impossible fait battre mon cœur plus fort. En dehors de me rappeler les couvre-volants en tissu éponge de mon enfance (vous vous souvenez ?), ces joyeuses pantoufles me rappellent aussi le sketch conçu par Jennifer Saunders et Dawn French où elles parodient une émission matinale où la fameuse experte en tout ce qui concerne Joan Collins fait son apparition ...

OF CATFIGHTS and chocolate candy

a catfight, or should I say, THE ultimate catfight of
Alexis and Krystle (the name alone!) in the Dynasty "Reunion" series.
Best thing: this even involves fashion!!!

... with great interest I heard the news that Joan Collins will be the new "face" of the Snickers chocolate bar. Where Mr. T reached out to the community of Snickers snackers until recently, Joan "Alexis" Collins will do her best soon. So let me express my feeble hope that the Snickers commercial which she is supposed to star in will feature a chocolate candy catfight (that's what what everyone was waiting for when they had dinner & Dynasty back in the 80s, right? I was even allowed to stay up longer when the Denver Clan was on) ...

Mrs. Collins will hardly have to reach out to snackers
quite as aggressively as Mr. T does, will she?

... alors ça : le Daily Mail britannique a annoncé que Joan "Alexis" Collins est la prochaine star qui fera venir l'eau à la bouche de ses fans en essayant de leur vendre la barre de chocolat Snickers. Eh ben ouais. En vieux partisan de Dynastie (d'accord, j'étais encore très très jeune quand cela passait à la télé mais on me permettait tout de même de rester éveillé jusqu'à très tard à ces occasions-là), j'espère que la pub sera imbibée de l'esprit de la légendaire série télévisée Dynastie - peut-être même qu'il y aura une des bagarres attendues avec tant d'impatience par les fans de la série. Allez, les cacahuètes ...

edit: the German agency that co-produced the spot just leaked the German version (I guess that's not what Snickers originally intended, because the brand is definitely saving this for Super Bowl, right?)

just out - the German version of the commercial feat. Mrs Collins

do we have to expect something along these lines? after all, Collins is a real diva too...

really "sweet" - Betty White playing football